Just one letter (and an apostrophe) marks the difference between these words; however, their meanings and how you use them can be the difference between a successful life and an unfulfilled one.
How you see yourself and the understanding of what you are truly capable of as a human being are two of the most important things in life.
Unfortunately, the word “can’t” is alive and well in most corporate cultures and is heard quite a lot these days, but what we don’t realise is that it’s crippling our team performance and culture within the workplace. When you say “can’t,” you are victimizing yourself and rendering yourself incompetent and unable to make alterations or improvements to your life.
In reality, when you use the word “can’t,” you are using it as a defence mechanism to keep yourself emotionally safe. So if you say “I can’t pass this exam” or “I can’t submit this project by the deadline,” it only means that it is your choice not to work hard enough to finish your project on time or to pass your exam. In other words, you have chosen to fail. You think that saying the word “can’t” is the easy way out.
When you “can’t” do something, you imply that doing the thing is not in your control and that there are external factors getting in your way. It’s an excuse for your lack of success, and almost everybody hates having their excuses taken away.
Another reason we use the word “can’t” is to pretend we have a restriction so we don’t have to tell someone the truth. “Can’t” gives us the chance to lie. For instance, if you say “I can’t make it to the conference,” you want to portray that you don’t have an option. But the truth is that you don’t want to go to the conference. In other words, you are lying to yourself. Trust me, it is not the best feeling. So be honest and tell the truth: you’d rather not go. The key to improving teamwork within your workplace is honesty.
When you use the word “can’t,” you have to do some soul searching and determine if you are being honest or just disguising the truth.
Team members and individuals who take responsibility for their own actions will hardly ever use the word “can’t.” If you wish to succeed professionally and attain all your goals, the best remedy would be to stop using the word “can’t.” Remove it from your dictionary and replace it with “I don’t want to” or “I choose not to.” In this way, you take responsibility for what you do and you don’t let outside forces control your decisions.
In a nutshell, if you really “can’t” do something, it’s because you lack the skill, but if you “won’t” do something, it’s because you lack the will.
If you want to watch a short inspirational video on ‘How you can’ do something, click here or on the ‘play video’ link below. If you are a fan of guts, hard work and determination, the below 90 second video is a must watch.
My takeaway for this week:
In a team environment, it is your colleagues or team mates that should have the courage to hold you accountable, push you that little bit further and remind you that you can do anything.
You have always got something left in you. When you feel that you can’t go any further, take one more step, try for ten more seconds and do not allow your influences and emotions to control your actions.
Here is a complimentary copy of my ‘Can’t is the real C word’ chapter in audio format. Please click the following link to download.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/jh6mir5kvcmtv4l/Chapter%2012%20-%20Finding%20Your%20Rock%20Bottom.mp3?dl=0
Ritch