A great man once told me, “The most important thing in life is how you see yourself, your self-worth.”
Most of the time we base our self-belief on external actions and what we perceive people think, rather than our own inherent worth as a person. Self-belief and valuing yourself is about who you are, not valuing yourself against others.
In the professional sporting arena, players are highly competitive, otherwise, they would not be playing at the level they are, and subconsciously, they measure and feel good about themselves when they are performing ‘above average’.
The problem is, if the team are not playing well together and are experiencing losses, all of a sudden the perception of our-self is not above average anymore, but more so, below average. We gauge our own self-worth on the performance of the team, which is 100% backward, but not uncommon.
A key factor in players or employees valuing themselves more is stopping the comparison game and concentrating on what they can do in the environment they are in.
We all need to challenge our own critical voice when things go wrong. That little voice in our head that tells us that we are average or worthless because you have made a mistake. To increase self-esteem and value ourselves more, we need to challenge this voice and know that it is not real. Just let the thought go, and move on.
“Don’t believe everything you think.”
Self-worth and self-confidence revolve around the same process that robs you of it. Namely, how you are thinking. Controlling your mind-set and not giving energy to the opinions of others and also your own negative self-talk.
In order for your employees to value themselves more, they need to understand the ‘symbol’ or indication (Individually and as a team) of worth that is relevant for them.
This could range from, ‘I only value myself if we win,’ ‘I only value myself-when I know that I made zero mistakes,’ ‘I only value myself when I know I have made an effort of 100% and no less,’ ‘I only value myself when I am there for my mates etc.
The problem with the employees only valuing themselves on symbols or indicators of worth is the boost in self-confidence only lasts as long as the symbols are valid.
Their symbols or indicators must reflect effort. It can’t be about how much someone earns, or if someone is better than you. It must come down to the effort you are willing to put in and not worrying about anyone else’s performance or expectations.
“The greatest fear in the world is the opinion of others, and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion.
A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.”
– Osho –
My Takeaway For This Week:
We need to turn the ladder on its side and make it horizontal to improve the value of ourselves. If the ladder is horizontal, we are all equal and essentially, we value ourselves differently.
This mentality ensures that we enjoy our value NOW, not WHEN.
Just remember, value is separate to achievement.
Valuing yourself and comparing it to what you have achieved are two different things.
Below is a link to a chapter from my audio book talking about the importance of self worth. Well worth the time invested.
Have a great week ahead.